Pathetic Jamming

[FenderBoy]

The Thursday night Blues Jams at The Nail are generally pretty good. But, as the word spreads about this and more players seek it out to try their chops, things are changing for the worst.

The point of a jam is to make music with other players....have fun....doing your level best through the tough spots...paying attention to what the other players are doing and maybe learning something. Recent problem at The Nail is that it is quite apparant that there are an awful lot of wanna-be folk out there who know little or nothing of these basic concepts. I'm guessing that a lot of you seasoned players are nodding your heads in understanding.

I was on stage with a guy tonight who played leads all through the set...all through the vocals.
He could play, thankfully, but he had no idea of when not to play.

Please. I beg you newer players, when you start your rise to fame, listen to what's going on. Ensemble music is not playing in your bedroom.
Go out. Try your chops...but remember that you're not the only one on stage. Give the other players your respect.
Take your shot when it's your turn and breathe with the rest of the scene when it's not....otherwise it's just pathetic...

[Tele-Bob]

FB, it's the old fallacy that "the guitar solo is eveything!" For some reason, people think that others will be all sorts of impressed with their playing if they play blazing solos all over the place.

A friend of mine once defined wanking as, "clearly and repeatedly demonstrating the limits of your musical abilities for others." That one still cracks me up!

A few months ago I was at a very popular open mic where I got stuck on stage with Joe Wanker on guitar and Carl Crash Bash on drums.

Joe Wanker says to me, "play a shuffle in A."

TB: Oh, what are you going to sing?

JW: I don't sing. Just do a shuffle in A.

TB: Oh, I get it. We all play a shuffle in A so you can comp and solo over it.

JW: yeah yeah yeah, like that.

TB: no no no, that's not going to happen.

So JW starts a shuffle in A and Carl Crash Bash proceeds to crash and bash his way through it. Well, after the 6th or 7th wanking go around, I look at the bass player and we go into the "let's wrap it up riff."

JW and CCB aren't even listening as they're too busy with their noise pollution to know what's going on as we end the tune. Stunned, and left hanging, the drummer whips out a set of mallets and goes into a solo with JW in tow and it all collides on the tracks into a giant, ego serving trainwreck which yeilds the most pathetic polite applause I have ever had the misfortune to participate in. Even though I had two more songs to play, I left the stage and went home. Bletch!!!

So yes, I understand what you're saying FB. I don't expect people to be play like pros when they get up there, but I do expect a little courtesy and that they pay attention to what's going on around them. Isolating one's self from the tune so that they might wank into oblivion impresses no one and triggers a series of behavioral patterns that will take years to break if they ever want to get around to playing well.

[Offshore Angler]

Well Bob, you know, there are some major chord voicings that the pentatonic and blues scales just won't work with, he, eh, he. If the bass player is on board with you, a pentwanker can be reduced to a snivelling little weasel in a few bars.

Is it mean? Yep. Is it part of the learning process? Yep.

[shoebox22]

To sum up:

Pay attention

[CocoTone]

Isn`t that part of the hosts job,,to control and weed out the wankers?? Its not always a pleasant and diplomatic thing to do, but for the sake of the audience, and the club owner, get the big hook out, and pull his ass off the stage!!


CT.:ahem

[NeoFauve]

"Joe Wanker on guitar and Carl Crash Bash on drums."
Some people's parents give them names that seem to seal their fate.
It's erie:brr that they met and became friends.

I remember 2 gen-X kids at an acoustic open mic. They said they were "gonna play some blues." They said it with this air that it was easy and beneath them, rockers that they were. Like they were doing everybody a favor.
Then they began their 12-bar thing.
One guy chunking chords in one key, the other obliviously soloing in another. And they just kept going. Two best buds, who showed up together, apparently unable to listen to eachother.

[FenderBoy]

Isn`t that part of the hosts job,,to control and weed out the wankers?? Its not always a pleasant and diplomatic thing to do, but for the sake of the audience, and the club owner, get the big hook out, and pull his ass off the stage!!


CT.:ahem

That's a simply marvelous idea but I have yet to see it happen.....Most hosts, I've experience with six at least, don't want to deal with what could offend or set off an ego-elevated player.
I think they just hope too that the player will simply go away....sometimes they do go away...too often they don't.

There was one guy, a truly great player who absolutely could not sing at all, not one note, who would always come to another jam night I'd been part of and he'd always sing(?).
He did this over a dozen times without the host saying anything...maybe because the guy was such a good player...who knows?

Anyway, this guy finally got the hint when nearly the entire the audience would leave the room when he began his catterwalling...but that took a couple times for him to finally see.

That's a TOTALLY different story though.
It wasn't his fault that he had no voice. He just didn't know it and the host wasn't about to tell him.
It's not like he sang(?) through all the lead parts. At least he showed some respect for the other players.
That's all I'm begging for...a teeny, tiny bit of respect.

[dez]

One of the main reasons I don't do those things anymore.

[CocoTone]

I really enjoyed the host position,,did it for two years, and if done with diplomacy, you can tell the person that he needs`polish` before coming onstage with seasoned players. It makes the night go smoother. What gets me is when 9 guitar players show up, and no vocalists, or bassists, to break the monotony!!


CT.

[FenderBoy]

I really enjoyed the host position,,did it for two years, and if done with diplomacy, you can tell the person that he needs`polish` before coming onstage with seasoned players. CT.

Hey...we all know down here in the states that Canadians are a much kinder, gentler breed.
People get murdered down here for being genuine....ask any corpse.

[Chet]

Isn`t that part of the hosts job,,to control and weed out the wankers?? Its not always a pleasant and diplomatic thing to do, but for the sake of the audience, and the club owner, get the big hook out, and pull his ass off the stage!!


CT.:ahem

Remember the "Gong Show"!! :lol

[Chet]

That's a simply marvelous idea but I have yet to see it happen.....Most hosts, I've experience with six at least, don't want to deal with what could offend or set off an ego-elevated player.
I think they just hope too that the player will simply go away....sometimes they do go away...too often they don't.

There was one guy, a truly great player who absolutely could not sing at all, not one note, who would always come to another jam night I'd been part of and he'd always sing(?).
He did this over a dozen times without the host saying anything...maybe because the guy was such a good player...who knows?

Anyway, this guy finally got the hint when nearly the entire the audience would leave the room when he began his catterwalling...but that took a couple times for him to finally see.

That's a TOTALLY different story though.
It wasn't his fault that he had no voice. He just didn't know it and the host wasn't about to tell him.
It's not like he sang(?) through all the lead parts. At least he showed some respect for the other players.
That's all I'm begging for...a teeny, tiny bit of respect.

If it bothered you that much you should've videotaped him and played it back to him.. Then let him know that he needed to practice with a recorder or just give up.

[chuckocaster]

i don't like to "jam", i perform. i'm not trying to be a dick, but i'm not somebody's backing track to wank over. did it plenty when i played in the college jazz band. and that was enough for me.

i have gone to a couple TFF jams, but that was really just to hang out. i personally didn't play that much.

but to each their own.

[FenderBoy]

I ran into the bass player and keyboardist who shared the stage with me last Thursday when "Mr. Guitar" took our set to an all time low with his idiotic wanking all thru our time up.

We spent some time slapping each other on the back and laughing about it. It was a relief to learn they felt exactly the same as I did as sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who if affected by and pissed off by such stage behavior....like if I'm just being a dick.

I ran into these guys a few minutes apart. With each of them, the greeting began with..."What the f...was THAT on Thursday?"

[FenderBoy]

Amazing!
Tonight at the Jam at Warmdaddy's Blues Club in Phillie, another player friend of mine got stuck with a guy who didn't know what he was doing on his SG.
Unbelievable! SG guy actually just stopped playing and stood there for part of the set.
Astounding! A blessing! A miracle!

My plea may have actually been heard somewhere out in the cozmos.

[Tele-Bob]

Witnessing good stage etiquette is always encouraging. It's hard to talk to some of those people without coming off as a "know it all" and offending them. I have tried to be helpful a few times with mixed reactions.

[FenderBoy]

The guy that was jamming with Mr. SG used to be the guitar player on the road with Billy Joel.
I think a few kind words of thanks were said and some suggestions were made following their set.
I don't know how that went but I'm pretty certain the SG player felt pretty miserable nonetheless.

[Bongolation]

[Kap'n]

Bongo, was that a question as to when the guy felt miserable? :lol

[Bongolation]

Bongo, was that a question as to when the guy felt miserable? :lol

No, I was just having some deep thoughts on shallow subjects, the mood of which I felt was liable to the usual TFF misconstruction and bent feelings. :)

Um, something about the essential similarity of those who complain about jam vermin and those who complain about eBay vermin, and how if you don't like the smell of the city dump, move away because scented aromatherapy candles can only do so much, and that dump's still going to be stinking long after you're gone.

Then I thought some more afterward and decided that maybe jams don't attract wankery, so much as they are wankery, as opposed to playing real arrangements of real songs with a real band in a real gig or a real recording, with a real leader with the real authority to throw real bonehead jam bums and compulsive sweep-pickers out a real door, with the warning that if they ever come back they'll get real serious beatings with a weighted microphone boom.

Then I was reflecting on how since getting a new Linux box, I've discovered that these emoticons are animated, disturbing intelligence I've been clueless about for all this time, and the cosmic implications arising from that extended unawareness.

If you'd written all that, wouldn't you have deleted it?

[sabby]

Next time you 'shroom, turn off the cpu and head outside.

[Kap'n]

OK, then....


Fenderboy, did the guy feel more miserable at the jam, or playing with Billy Joel?

[Bongolation]

Next time you 'shroom, turn off the cpu and head outside.

It's not drugs, but sensory deprivation.

Absent any stimulation my mind makes its own. Imagine a mental state in which you are a little kid alone in the house on a rainy day. That's perpetually my...uh...intellectual landscape. How bad do chocolate and mayonnaise taste together? How much faster would the lace curtains burn if you put lighter fluid on them? If you put a packet of grape Kool-Aid with a little hole in it in the tank, how long would the water in the toilet be a pleasing lavender purple when you flushed?

[sabby]

In that case I'd recommend the 'shrooms. A sure cure for sensory deprivation. :%

[Kap'n]

In that case I'd recommend the 'shrooms. A sure cure for sensory deprivation. :%

I'd recommend mesc. Not that I advocate the taking of drugs....to quote Dr. Gonzo.

[sabby]

I hear your mec and raise you one drop of liquid sunshine. Do I hear a DMT from anyone. :hee

[TT100]

I have tales to tell but nothing relevant to add.

TT

[fezz parka]

[FenderBoy]

OK, then....


Fenderboy, did the guy feel more miserable at the jam, or playing with Billy Joel?

Uh...Kap'n.....you seem a bit confused.

The guy who was the wanker played the SG.

The other player, the good one, was Billy Joel's guitarist for some time....Don Evans.

I suppose you could be trying to make a joke about Billy Joel being bad, huh?

[FenderBoy]

No, I was just having some deep thoughts on shallow subjects, the mood of which I felt was liable to the usual TFF misconstruction and bent feelings.

LOL...so what's changed, my friend?

This is a thread about knowing when to play and when not to play........miconstruction?...LOL

[Franklin]

Jams are jams, and that's the nature of them. Wanker fests!

Come back and complain when this guy shows up at your jam:

[melody]

[Offshore Angler]

TBB says it best. Just because somebody is a pentwanker today, doesn't mean that in a few years he won't learn how to play and come back and kick your ass.

Jams are open to guys that aren't playing in bands. You're gonna get these guys. I don't like to put down musicians because of the implied "Compared to me" at the end of each putdown. I think, personally, a lot of the criticism is based in the accuser's own low esteem as a player.

In Fenderboy's case, however, I know this isn't true. Paul is a genuine, warm, caring soul.

Just let the jammers have fun. That's your job as host. To accomodate all and keep the music coherent enough to satisfy the non-participants. It's a tough job.

I know that at every jam I do I will run into The Strat in the Hat, and he's gonna wanna do Pride and Joy. Luckily, I don't do jam deals anymore.

But I've met many a fine player at them too. So it all balances out.

[fezz parka]

The Strat in the Hat

You have just made my day. :rofl

[Kap'n]

I suppose you could be trying to make a joke about Billy Joel being bad, huh?

No, but I hear Mr. Joel is a miserable SOB, and it tends to be contagious.

[FenderBoy]

"Please. I beg you newer players, when you start your rise to fame, listen to what's going on. Ensemble music is not playing in your bedroom.
Go out. Try your chops...but remember that you're not the only one on stage. Give the other players your respect.
Take your shot when it's your turn and breathe with the rest of the scene when it's not....otherwise it's just pathetic..."


That's what I originally wrote. That's what I meant.
Thanks OA for the kind words.

[Tele-Bob]

OK, so we had a drummer at the open mic tonight who just couldn't play a 6 count and refused to relinquish the throne to someone more capable even though his 3 tunes were up. The bass player and I labored to keep the 1 2 3, 4 5 6 properly phrased and accented for the guest guitar player but the drummer kept slipping into 4. It was real bad. When it was time to end, we played those "let's end this madness" riffs leading up to the outro with lots of hand signals and eye contact but the drummer was too busy twirling a stick, playing the wrong time sig and not communicating with the group. So the train switched tracks and went around again where I finally yelled "wrap it up" as we were playing the "let's end this madness" riffs agian and the drummer just stops dead, 3 measures from the end. TRAIN WRECK!! There was no saving it. Bad scene. When ego meets a 6 count, bad things happen.

[FenderBoy]

"Wrap it up". LoL...so he stops dead.......

Great drummer story, Bob.
(Why do I think that nobody here will get all defensive at reading this tale?)

[Annie D.]

Ensemble music is not playing in your bedroom.

May I borrow that line and have it emblazed in giant letters on a tee-shirt, banner, bumper sticker and hat? I'll print a thousand copies of each and share them freely at jams.

Guess I quit public jamming 'cause I got tired of Drunken Slop Fests full of music hogs, non-skilled participants (it's a jam not a music lesson) and poorly tuned strings.

[Annie D.]

Please note the two measures, turnarounds and pauses inherent in any tune.